


sunshine riptide

by dearhappy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, a slight overuse of sun metaphors, simon plays matchmaker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 07:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13542489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearhappy/pseuds/dearhappy
Summary: He wonders at what point ‘she’s growing on me’ and ‘I think we’re friends now’ became the way Maia’s eyes seemed to linger on Clary with a certain fondness and longing like they were now. And Simon isn’t stupid he knows that look, hell, he’s worn it for most of his life when it came to Clary.





	sunshine riptide

**Author's Note:**

> basically this happened because i just really love parallels and comparing clary to the sun apparently, so yeah this was born.
> 
> also, the title came from 'sunshine riptide' by fall out boy.
> 
> enjoy!

Simon thinks it seems hilariously ironic in a tragic way how similar this moment is. 

They’re sitting across each other like they had all that time ago, it seemed almost like a lifetime away now. Maia’s book is different, but it’s still sitting closed right in front of her as they’re talking and laughing. And they’re even in the same booth. 

Clary isn’t standing in the same spot but it’s close enough. He had glanced over when she had entered and she had only waved before she leaned against the table waiting for Luke. Then he looked at Maia.

And that’s the biggest difference from the last time they were in this scenario.

He wonders at what point ‘she’s growing on me’ and ‘I think we’re friends now’ became the way Maia’s eyes seemed to linger on Clary with a certain fondness and longing like they were now.

And Simon isn’t stupid he knows that look, hell, he’s worn it for most of his life when it came to Clary. He’s also seen that longing look directed at Clary through many faces before.

At some point he had once thought Clary was the sun because she had always shined so brightly and so fiercely. She always had the world’s attention without even trying, because she was just golden. 

And golden girls were not easy to ignore.

So, really, he’s not surprised that Maia in all her strong willed walls had found herself pulled into the sun that is Clary Fray. He figures it’s only been a matter of time because there’s just something about Clary’s golden brightness that is easy to be drawn towards. People love Clary, she commands attention in all that she does, and eventually you find yourself tumbling hopeless in her orbit unsure of how you found yourself there, but you’re not willing to fall out.

Something about her that is so easy to fall in love with. And he knows Clary isn’t trying to hurt anybody on purpose, but she still does leave a line of Icarus’s with longing and broken hearts who couldn’t get close to the sun.

But Maia isn’t another hopeless Icarus doomed to love the sun so much it becomes her undoing. 

Maia is different, there’s just something in his core that knows this, he can’t pinpoint how or why he knows this, but he just does. 

It had started with that time when it was just the three of them, he excused himself and when he made his way back he faltered catching sight of the two of them laughing, and then he noticed Clary smiling so fondly it ached in his chest. She was looking at Maia like she hung the stars and moon. 

That was weeks ago and he had started paying more attention since then. He’s been noticing a lot of things that he’s been trying to ignore. Like all the longing gazes and how they both seem to look at each other in a way he knows is too much to still be Totally Platonic. 

He’s also noticed how things have been stilted in his relationship with Maia, because they have fun and he loves Maia, but he can just feel a tension. He can feel that things are not the same as they used to be.

And when that realization finally came it hurt so much. It hurt to realize that he was never enough for either of them.

Now it just hurt that maybe he was standing in the way of what could have made the two girls so happy. Because while his heart no longer ached for Clary in the same way, she was still his best friend, he wanted her to be happy. And while he did love Maia so much, he felt awful for holding her back from a happiness he couldn’t give her.

He wondered how Maia had felt when she was in his shoes.

They had really gone full circle, he would laugh if it weren’t so tragic how this had all turned around on him. The universe is funny that way, he supposes.

“Maia,” he says softly, he’s nervous and so unsure of what to say next.

Her gaze snaps up to meet his expectantly waiting for him to go on. “Yeah?” She asks after a beat of silence, urging him to go on.

He licks his lips looking to the side, he racked his brain for how to go about this. He thinks using her own words from the first time would be too cliche and weird.

He frowns to himself as he taps at the table softly. It’d be easy to ignore it to say nevermind and never bring it up, he thinks, to let their relationship fail until it’s in shreds and she’ll be free to fly closer to the sun.

But then he remembers the last time they’d been in this spot, how Maia had selflessly stepped aside and gave him a push towards Clary even though she had liked him and wanted to take a chance. And he feels so guilty.

Because unlike last time Clary hadn’t looked at him like he was the center of the universe the same way she did to Maia.

And it was easier to take a breath, to realize he had to return the favor by stepping aside and giving Maia a push. It was his turn to be selfless.

“You like her a lot, don’t you?” He blurts out, and he doesn’t mean to but he figures it’s better this way. Easier to rip the band aid off.

Her face flashes with an emotion so quickly that he can’t name it, then she shakes her head giving him a weird look. “What, uh, what are you talking about?” she asks, with a weak smile.

He pauses. “Come on,” he says, as he glances back to where Clary is exiting the Jade Wolf with Luke. 

Maia follows his gaze, tensing slightly as the realization seems to dawn on her. She laughs awkwardly. “Clary? I mean, yeah, I like her. We’re friends, have been for awhile now, Simon.”

It’s blatant denial and they both know it. 

“That’s… You know what I meant,” he says, staring at her. She stares back, he wonders if they’re going to have to dance around this.

She deflates slightly, breaking eye contact as she looks down at her book. Looking almost… guilty. 

“I… I’ve seen the way you look at her,” he starts after a long pause, she seems rigid and closed off in a way she hasn’t been around him in so long. “I’ve also seen the way she looks at you.”

That seems to catch her attention as she looks up in surprise. “She doesn’t look at me in any way…” 

Simon laughs softly, as he shakes his head. “And here I thought you were super observant and an advanced emotional being,” he says teasingly. 

The joke seems to ease her tension as she laughs with him. She rolls her eyes, “She doesn’t though.”

“She so does,” he retorts quickly. “I think… she tries to hide it because, well… Us. But she doesn’t hide it well, and looks at you in a totally not ‘just friends’ way.”

Maia looks down at her hands, she seems to be in deep thought.

He waits a moment before deciding to continue talking. “Listen, she’s my best friend. And she’s never looked at anyone that way. Ever. Like, except maybe Jace when they were together. But even the way she used to look at him isn’t the same way she looks at you, trust me. She definitely feels the same way.”

They sit in silence for a few moments as Simon’s words settle in. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers after a long moment. 

He’s about to ask what for but that’s when it hits him, and he shakes his head. “No, don’t be. It’s fine,” he assures quickly. And it’s not a lie, not really.

Maia is looking at him now, she’s studying him. “Is it really?”

“It’s fine,” he repeats, adding a smile afterwards. She only nods. 

“So,” she says, then pauses as if trying to gather her thoughts. “I guess this means we’re breaking up?” 

There’s no harshness in this, she’s smiling at him sadly. And he doesn’t feel crushed, just acceptance, because yeah, she’s in love with his friend. He nods slowly, “I think we have to,” he says.

She smiles still, eyes gazing down at the table. “I wish things could be different,” she admits softly. 

Simon shrugs. “Yeah, but we can still be friends, like actually friends. Not like in the we broke up and we say we’ll be friends but never talk to each other kind of way,” he rambles, because even if their relationship didn’t work he still wants Maia in his life.

She’s laughing softly at his rambling. “I’d like that,” she amends, her smile no longer taking a sad edge. 

“Look at us, being mature adults,” he jokes, with a laugh and bright smile. And then sighs as he looks around before leaning forward on the table. “So. As your friend, I think you should tell her how you feel.”

There’s a distinct hesitance in Maia as she looks like she considers it before she shakes her head just the slightest. And Simon just sighs, because really, it’s kind of hypocritical of her to not go for it. 

“Seriously,” he starts, and he feels kind of exasperated. Maybe this was how she felt when he seemed to hesitate and refuse not to. “Remember you were the one who told me I should be honest and just tell her. So, I’m telling you to take your own advice,” he says.

She huffs slightly in annoyance, and gives him a strange look as if she’s begrudgingly realizing that he has a point and she doesn’t like it one bit. And Simon wants to shrink away at her gaze but he doesn’t, he tries his hardest to stand his ground even if she looks annoyed. And is very scary. 

“You know I’m right,” he adds, and regrets it just a bit because maybe it won’t help his case at all.

But apparently it does because she frowns before leaning back in her seat. She does this thing where she sighs and rolls her eyes, giving into defeat. “Fine, you’re right,” she mumbles. 

He breaks into a bright grin. “She likes you, I know she does,” he says, and then adds: “You should go for it, because I want you to be happy even if it’s not with me. You deserve to fall in love and be happy.”

Maia looks at him in a way he can’t quite decipher. “You really think so?” she asks softly, her head tilting just a bit.

“I know so,” he says earnestly. He doesn’t know to which part of the sentence it is she’s referring to but it doesn’t matter, he means all of it.

There’s a pause as she looks at him her expression is so open now. And she gives him a small smile. She nods, “Alright.”

“Alright?”

She rolls her eyes in that fond way she does and smiles. “I’ll go for it.”

Simon nods, returning the smile. “Good, you should. Take a chance at love. You deserve it.”

And when they part ways at the end of the night she pulls him into a tight hug. “Thanks, Simon,” she whispers, before kissing his cheek and going off in her own direction. He watches for a moment before nodding to himself, his chest no longer feels as heavy as it did before. He feels a bit of relief because it’s for the best that he let her go.

Because Maia is strong and wonderful and if anyone can touch the sun and keep it near without getting burned it’s her.


End file.
